A reflection on John 11:35, the silent weight people carry, and what it truly means to help someone move forward.
This morning I was sitting with one of the shortest verses in the Bible — John 11:35: “Jesus wept.” Two words. And yet those two words carry something that I think a lot of us need to be reminded of today. Jesus sees what hurts in us. Not just the surface struggle — the deep pain. The kind nobody else knows about. He sees the grief, the pressure, the burden we carry quietly, and it matters to Him.
That stopped me. And it made me ask myself honestly: do I carry that same compassion toward the people in my life? Not as a standard I have already reached, but as something I am actively choosing to walk in today — toward my family, my coworkers, my clients, the stranger at the grocery store, the person at the gas pump.
Compassion is not weakness. It is part of the heart of God. And for some people, it may be the only Bible they ever see.
I also thought about Mary and Martha in John 11. Both of them questioned Jesus when they saw Him — “If you had been here, our brother would not have died.” That is raw honesty. And Jesus did not correct them. He did not shut them down. He wept with them. He met them right where they were. That is the kind of presence I want to offer to the people around me.
What people are really carrying
In the work I do every day, I have learned that what shows up on the surface is almost never the whole story. What looks like anger, withdrawal, defensiveness, or “not caring” is usually something much deeper underneath. Most people are not broken — they are carrying weight they were never meant to carry alone.
Here are some of the heaviest things I see people dealing with:
- Shame — Not just guilt over something done wrong, but a deep belief that something is fundamentally wrong with them as a person. Shame says, “I am bad.” Guilt says, “I did something bad.” That difference is enormous, and it attacks identity at the root.
- Unresolved grief — Not only the loss of a loved one, but lost relationships, lost years, lost trust, lost dreams, and the life they thought they would have. Many people are trying to function while carrying deep heartbreak they have never had a real space to process.
- Trauma — Experiences that quietly changed the way they respond to people, relationships, and life — often without them fully realizing it. Trauma can show up as anger, emotional shutting down, fear, or control issues that do not seem to make sense from the outside.
- Fear and anxiety — A deep fear of failing, being rejected, or believing that nothing will ever really change no matter how hard they try. Sometimes fear makes people run. Sometimes it makes them hide. Sometimes it makes them pretend everything is fine.
- The mask — “I’m fine.” Said by people who are anything but fine. The mask is protection. It is how people keep others from seeing the real hurt underneath — staying busy, joking constantly, people-pleasing, isolating, or acting like nothing gets to them.
- Addiction and emotional numbing — Often not a character flaw, but a way of managing pain that has never been properly addressed. What looks like a bad choice is frequently a desperate attempt to survive something that feels unlivable.
And underneath almost all of it — grief. Not always grief over death, but grief over life. People are trying to pick up the pieces of something that broke, and they just need hope, direction, and someone willing to help them take the next step.
That is not how God intended things to be. And it is not where the story has to end.
Grace makes more room for change than shame ever will
I want to be honest here, because I think honesty matters more than a polished image. I have needed grace myself. I have made decisions I am not proud of. And what helped me move forward was not someone tearing me down or reminding me of every wrong turn I had taken. It was the grace of God and wisdom pointing me in a new direction.
I believe the same is true for the people we come in contact with every single day. People do not need to be reminded of their failures. They do not need more shame added to what they are already carrying. What they need is compassion, understanding, and a clear path forward.
The goal is to build people up — not tear them down. Grace creates space for real change. Wisdom helps guide people toward a better direction. And with commitment and God’s help, lives can truly be transformed.
Meeting people where they are does not mean excusing harmful patterns or removing accountability. It means starting with the person in front of you — not the version of them you wish they were, not the history of their worst moments — but the person standing right there, today, needing to know that change is possible.
Sometimes that looks like listening without jumping to advice. Sometimes it is patience when impatience would be easier. Sometimes it is one kind word said to someone at a checkout counter who is silently falling apart. We never fully know what another person is carrying. But we can choose to show up with compassion anyway.
My coaching vision
This is the heartbeat behind the life coaching work I am building. I believe real change begins when a person feels seen, heard, and understood. So many people are walking around carrying silent pain — shame, grief, trauma, fear — and what they are missing is not more correction. It is compassion, direction, and someone willing to walk alongside them without judgment.
My desire is to help people who feel stuck, overwhelmed, or discouraged find clarity, hope, and a practical path forward. Whether someone is dealing with life transitions, emotional weight, past mistakes, or simply not knowing what the next step looks like — I want to be a guide for that journey.
My coaching is built around five simple pillars:
- Compassion — People need to feel safe enough to be honest. Without that, real work cannot happen.
- Listening — Not everyone needs a lecture. Many people simply need to be genuinely heard, maybe for the first time.
- Grace — People grow better when they are not crushed by shame. Grace makes room for honesty and real change.
- Direction — Coaching is not just about talking through problems. It is about helping people take real, meaningful steps forward.
- Change — With commitment, wisdom, and God’s help, lasting change is possible. I believe that for every person I work with.
This work is not coming from a script or a business plan I found online. It is coming from lived experience — from watching people carry weight they were never meant to carry alone, from being in rooms where people are trying to put their lives back together, and from a real belief that God can work through one person’s compassion to change another person’s entire direction.
The people I am called to serve may be dealing with grief, shame, addiction recovery, life transitions, fear, or simply feeling like they have made too many mistakes to start over. My message to those people is simple: you have not gone too far. Grace is real. Change is possible. And you do not have to figure it all out before you take the next step.
A closing thought
What is that person going through that you do not know? The cashier, the person at the gas pump, your coworker, your client, your family member — what are they carrying right now that you cannot see? There are probably many things people carry that we will never know. But God can reveal things through His Spirit. And sometimes one simple kind word, one moment of genuine compassion, can change somebody’s entire day.
I want my life to reflect that. I want the love and compassion of God to be visible in how I show up for people — not just in a coaching session, but in every interaction. That is the kind of disciple I want to be today.
Reflection question: How can I let the compassion and love of God be seen through me in every person I come in contact with today?
Let’s connect
If any of this speaks to where you are right now — if you feel stuck, weighed down, or unsure of what your next step looks like — I would love to hear from you. You do not have to have it all figured out to reach out. That is exactly what this is here for.
Phone: 937-242-8520