You may have found this post by typing in Google, how to forgive someone who has hurt me? In order to forgive, we have to have a relationship with God. Sometimes we have to forgive by faith. If you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior hear a new man and a new woman. However, that doesn’t change the fact that people still hurt us. Sometimes it’s intentionally and other times it’s unintentional. Sometimes you have to forgive by faith.
Whether it’s a spouse who was unfaithful, a parent who let you down as a child, or a friend who shared something told in confidence, we all must face the question of whether and how to forgive.
After you are wronged and the initial wave of emotion has passed, you’re presented with a new challenge: Do you forgive the person? By forgiving, you let go of your grievances and judgments and allow yourself to heal. While this may sound good in theory, in practice forgiveness can sometimes feel impossible.
To learn how to forgive, you must first learn what forgiveness is not. Most of us hold at least some misconceptions about forgiveness. Here are some things that forgiving someone doesn’t mean:
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you are pardoning or excusing the other person’s actions.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you need to tell the person that he or she is forgiven.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have any more feelings about the situation.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean there is nothing further to work out in the relationship or that everything is okay now.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you should forget the incident ever happened.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to continue to include the person in your life.
… and forgiveness isn’t something you do for the other person.
By forgiving, you are accepting the reality of what happened and finding a way to live in a state of resolution with it. This can be a gradual process—and it doesn’t necessarily have to include the person you are forgiving. Forgiveness isn’t something you do for the person who wronged you; it’s something you do for you.
So, if forgiveness is something you do for yourself and if it can help you heal, why is it so hard?
Forgiveness does not pass to be hard. All of this at one time in our life must make a choice to forgive or not forgive. Forgiveness is a behavior that we choose to engage in. My question is, what happens if we choose not to forgive. If we don’t forgive the causes us to have bitterness and animosity towards the person that hurt us. Sometimes people heard us and there now you know where that they did. Sometimes we must tell people, that the words for their actions heard us.
Let’s get something clear right up front: forgiveness is hard. It’s one of the more difficult concepts of the human experience. You know what isn’t hard? Resentment, dwelling, bitterness – all of that stuff is a piece of cake. When we are hurt, these are easy patterns to fall into. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is an active choice, one that often seems to stand against our very nature.
And yet, the fact that it seems to defy our instincts is the very reason why it is so important. As people who make mistakes, we would be totally helpless without some aspect of grace in our relationships. Still, there seems to be a problem with how we as a culture view the idea of forgiveness. We attach so many conditions to it (“I’ll forgive you IF you say you’re sorry”) or we look at it more like revenge (“I guess I’ll just have to kill her with kindness!”).
But true forgiveness is so much more powerful than all of that. In Aramaic, the word for forgiveness (“shbag”) literally means to “untie.” It’s a no-strings-attached kind of action that ushers in freedom. Forgiveness has the power to change lives, to bring beauty and growth in the midst of pain. But because it has such a depth of importance, obviously this also means that it can be difficult to come by.
We continue to discuss ways that love is misunderstood today. In order to truly practice love, we must understand what it is.
Real love is demonstrated by actions. Love is more than emotional feelings of affection for another. One may say he loves someone, but it means nothing without demonstration by actions as God demonstrates His love by actions. “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) If God were to say He had feelings of love and affection for us, but yet refused to act to help us by sending Christ to die for us, such wouldn’t be love nor worthy to be called “love”.
We are commanded to love God. (Matthew 22:37) A person can say they love God, but without demonstrating it by their actions of obedience, it is not genuine love. One who loves God seeks His will, glorification and puts God first in their life above all else. Let’s look at some scriptures which teach this. “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” (John 14:15) “Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings …” (John 14:23-24) Jesus showed us how to love God. “But that the world may know that I love the Father; and as the Father gave me commandment, even so I do…” (John 14:31)
We are commanded to love our neighbors. (Matthew 22:39) Just as God demonstrated His love by His actions, we demonstrate our love by our actions. Another description of “agape” love is “active goodwill.” We see this kind of love demonstrated in Matthew 5:44 where “active goodwill” blesses, does good, and prays for one’s enemies.
The word of God is very clear concerning forgiveness. Jesus said that we are to love our neighbors. Jesus said that were supposed to forgive. Jesus also says that we need to pray for our enemies and bless them which despitefully use us. In the book of first John the word of God says that if a man says that he loves God and hates his neighbor, this man is a liar the truth is not in us. If we don’t love those that we can see how can we say that we love God whom we have not seen?